EXPAND TO READ: ACTS 26 (HCSB)
PERSONAL JOURNAL:
SIN (verse 14): I had to look this phrase up as I was confused, but as I researched it I felt very convicted that this was also me. When Jesus told Paul that “it is hard for you to kick against the goads” he was referencing self-inflicted pain that animals feel when they kick against the rod being used to move them around the field when they are being stubborn. This same self-inflicted pain is felt throughout a tumultuous life filled with sin and selfishness as I have felt. Jesus is likely not referring to physical pain here, but more so emotional and spiritual pain due to his own transgressions. The same has applied to me in my life. I have felt so much guilt and shame over the things I’ve done and thought in my life, especially since coming to faith and I’ve found it difficult to release much of it to You over the hears. Please forgive me for this, Father. Forgive me for often holding onto the self-inflicted pain in my life instead of truly releasing it all to You. I always try to be in control of things and hold onto things along the way instead of releasing full control and full healing to You. Please continue to help me to be better at releasing control and healing to You, Father!
PROMISE (verse 18): Such an amazing promise made to EVERYONE at the tail end of this scripture. Jesus told Paul that he can relay a message to others that through their faith in Him, they will receive forgiveness of their sins and a share amongst those who are sanctified. Although my faith in Jesus is stronger than it ever has been, I do still struggle with fully accepting this promise in my life; in particular the first part about forgiveness of my sins. As I confessed to in the Sin portion of my journal, I do struggle with holding onto the things I’ve done in the past instead of releasing them to You for full forgiveness and freedom. Help me to be better at fully accepting this promise in my life, Father, so that as I continue to mature in my relationship with You and in my faith, my past is no longer a self-inflicted prison I often take residence in.
ATTITUDE (verses 24-26): I really love Paul’s attitude and response here when being challenged by Festus, who’s the one that presented him before the court of King Agrippa. He remained calm and humble throughout his response to Festus, even though Festus harshly accused Paul of being out of his mind and mad/crazy. When he responded, he simply remained in Your truth about himself and the testimony You’ve blessed him with instead of reacting in anger or spite as I likely would have in this moment. Help me to fully embrace attitudes of calm, peace, tranquility, and humility when I am in situations like this, Father. Help me to not react in the flesh as I often do, rather to react in the Spirit as Paul did here.
COMMAND (verse 18): There are a few commands right at the beginning of this verse that are very important for me to follow. The first is for me to open my eyes as they have been closed off for so long to Your great blessings and will for my life. The next two are follow-ups to the initial as we first must have our eyes fully open in our faith in order to proceed with the next two commands. Of these two follow-ups, You command us to turn from darkness to light and to turn from the power of Satan to the power of God. Help me to continue to open my eyes fully, Father, so that as I progress in my journey that You have me on, I will be able to see and avoid the darkness and the power of Satan; as I progress in Your will for my life, I will be able to see Your light and Your power are far better than anything else in this world to include my own power. I am weak in my flesh, but through the born-again identity You’ve given me in Jesus I am stronger than anything this life may bring to me.
EXAMPLE (verses 30-31): Once again, Paul gives his testimony to another court and another group of leaders. Once again, Paul’s testimony that You’ve blessed him with reigns supreme over all the empty charges the Jewish leaders are attempting to bring before him. All Paul has done is speak Your truth to others, which some of those within his own religious circles have disagreed with, yet the leaders outside of his religious circles see the truth—that Paul is simply speaking his own testimony through Your truth. The leaders here also see that there is nothing for them to charge Paul with as they see no reason for a death sentence nor for him to be shackled in chains. This says to me that oftentimes those without our own faith may be far more resistant to hearing Your truth if it conflicts with their personal opinions than even those who are not believers. I have been witness to this as I have seen many churches split up over a difference of opinions of which neither opinion is being backed by Your truths fully. Instead, they often try to twist Your truth to their own will instead of leaving it as it is to exemplify and glorify You throughout the message. Help me to not be the one who leans on opinion in these matters, Father, but rather to be one that always leans on You throughout my faith and throughout any disagreements I may be involved in. If I hold to Your truth throughout the disagreement, then I can feel proud in my faith that I glorified You throughout it, just as Paul has done here.
*DAILY NOTE: The story of Paul just keeps getting better and digging deeper. Throughout all of these disagreements and tension amongst him and his own people, he has remained faithful. Through the initial beatings he received from his own fellow believers, he has conquered death because You willed it to be so in order for him to give his amazing testimony to the highest of courts throughout the Jewish community and the Gentile community. Although he is giving his testimony to the courts, I love how Paul says in verse 29 that “whether easily or with difficulty, not only you but all who listen to me today might become as I am.” He recognizes that him speaking Your truths in these courts may or may not free him from his worldly shackles or even from death, but it could potentially free someone in the crowd from their spiritual shackles and eternal death. Thank You for revealing such an amazing testimony of consistency, perseverance, and staying faithful to my belief in You through Paul’s story, Father.
EXPAND TO READ: GENERAL NOTE FOR MY QUIET TIMES
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