EXPAND TO READ: MATTHEW 1 (HCSB)
PERSONAL JOURNAL:
SIN (verse 19): Father, this is tough for me to truly face and admit, but I too have been at a point in my marriage where I’ve contemplated divorce instead of fighting for the covenant You’ve given me with my wife—twice actually. I contemplated it secretly, just as Joseph was doing here, but You know our hearts, Father. Anything I think I’m contemplating in secret, You already know about, so I know You are aware of this. The first time was during a very stressful time in my life when I was deployed and my wife was raped. I wasn’t sure if I could face her day-to-day, knowing that deep inside I felt like less of a man because I couldn’t be there to protect her. I knew that she would serve as a daily reminder to this, so I was considering taking the worldly way out of it, by going the “easy” path of just not dealing with it in a sense. The second time was when my wife approached me about divorce and I was truly giving into that topic because I was still dwelling on the past and never truly healed from the first time when I was contemplating it on my own. Although in the first instance I never truly got over it as it always lingered in the back of my head, the second time I am grateful to say that through the amazing Godly men You introduced into my life at the perfect time, I was able to get passed all of those negative thoughts and truly fight for my relationship with You, my internal healing, and of course my marriage. Please forgive me for these very negative thoughts that go against what You expect me to stand for, Father. Forgive me for giving into sin, temptation, my weak flesh, and the world. Thank You for always being there to pull me through, even when I was resisting You almost every step of the way. I could not be where I am today if it weren’t for You, Father, and I am very grateful for all that You have done in my life and continue to do in my heart.
PROMISE (verse 23): This promise was made MANY decades/centuries before the fulfillment occurred. The promise was that Your righteous and perfect son would be born to a virgin and He would bring healing, recovery, and grace to all who will believe in Him. Here, we see the promise being fulfilled as Mary is about to give birth to Your Son, Jesus. Thank You for yet another example of a promise fulfilled in Your timing. It may have taken several generations for the promise to be fulfilled, but I would say that’s probably a short amount of time when You had to deal with the stubbornness and rebellious nature of us sinful and weak humans. For You it was no time, but for us it seems like forever as we look back on it. Thank You, Father, for always being faithful to Your promises even if we tend to do things that don’t always allow them to happen in “our timing.”
ATTITUDE (verses 19, 24): Joseph found out his soon-to-be wife, Mary, was already pregnant after they became engaged and were getting ready to marry. As written here, Joseph was a righteous man and didn’t want to embarrass or shame her publicly, so he was going to cancel their marriage and such privately to hopefully avoid that embarrassment and shame on Mary. This is not what You wanted, however. You knew what was best for him, so You sent a messenger to speak to him and to assure him that all was well with Mary and that it was You who put a child in her to become the Messiah for all. My attitude conviction today is concerning what Joseph does next, after he received the message from You. He trusts in You and obeys Your command to get married and be the earthly father to Your Son. This is a tough thing, which I know from personal experience, to be the true father to a child of your wife’s that is not your own. I truly believe that there are no accidental children, only accidental parents, which means I also believe that no matter the circumstances behind a child’s birth that a good father will be there for them to the best of their abilities, holding them blameless of those circumstances and embracing them as their own. Help me to always embrace this attitude fully in my life, Father, so that no matter the circumstances behind any child’s birth, to include my own, I am always there to be a righteous father figure to the best of my abilities on this earth. Help me to always walk with an attitude of trust in You throughout all of life’s difficulties on the topic of fatherhood, as I know I have failed in many ways, but through You I can be better.
COMMAND (verse 24): Although not a direct and blatant command, I do see a command being alluded to here through Joseph’s life. After the messenger was sent to Joseph to proceed with marrying Mary and to raise Jesus, who is Your son, Joseph could have quite easily gone the worldly way and simply continued to pursue the cancellation of their marriage. He could have just walked away, and the world would not have blamed him one bit. Instead, he heeded Your message, trusted in You fully, and was obedient to Your command to him. The world may jest at this and call him stupid for marrying a woman who was already pregnant, but he knew better as he was told directly by You that this is the path he should take. Help me to be better at living my life in obedience to You, Father. Help me to live my life in a way that reflects my full trust in You no matter what the circumstances or commands You want me to follow. I may still be weak in my flesh, but I know the more I lean on You the stronger I become overall! Thank You, Father.
EXAMPLE (verses 19, 24-25): The story of Joseph reminds me so much of my own when it comes to my fourth child. I was in a similar situation, although already well into my marriage. I too was faced with a difficult decision of staying with my wife or divorcing her due to a child in her body that was not my own. I too struggled with this decision rather deeply, just as Joseph appeared to have struggled in this scripture. Although I may not have been a close follower of You at the time, I do believe that You placed in me a caring and nurturing heart, just like that of Joseph, that couldn’t just walk away. Although I may not have received a messenger directly from You that I know of concerning this topic, I do feel that You moved in my heart to put me in a mindset that would have me stay in my marriage and be the father that my son needs in this crazy world. Thank You for providing me this example of how Joseph walked righteously according to Your truths and Your commands, Father. Although I may not have been even close to perfect in the way I went about it personally, I do truly believe that You tugged on the right strings in my heart to get me going at least somewhat close to the right direction in my journey in this life. Thank You, Father!
*DAILY NOTE: New book in Your amazing word today, Father, and I see You’re starting off by tugging directly at my heart and some very emotional memories for me. Although the first 75% of this first chapter is just genealogy, it’s amazing how loudly only a handful of verses can speak to my heart. Thank You for all You’ve done in my heart, my life, my marriage, and my family, Father. I am truly appreciative of everything You’ve orchestrated in my life, even when I was extremely stubborn, resistance, disobedient, and hesitant on following Your will for my life. I am still a work-in-progress and still have a lot of things I need to work through from my past, but I know that with You all things are possible, so I must remember to lean on You at all times to get true revelation, true healing, and true restoration in my life. Thank You for all You continue to bless my heart with, Father, and thank You for pulling on the right heart strings at the right time. I love You!
EXPAND TO READ: GENERAL NOTE FOR MY QUIET TIMES
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