EXPAND TO READ: TITUS 1 (HCSB)
PERSONAL JOURNAL:
SIN (verse 7): I really do not know if I am considered an overseer or God’s administrator, but what I do know is that I struggle quite a bit with some of the qualities stated here. You say that God’s administrators should not be hot-tempered and not a bully. I have given into both of these in different ways throughout my life, even in the present through all the growth I’ve had in my spiritual life. I do struggle with being hot-tempered still, just not as frequently as I once was and definitely not as explosive. I do struggle with being a bully in some respects because I often feel the need to talk over or talk louder to people when they are not hearing what I am saying. Both of these have a root in my emotional maturity, which is definitely lacking. Please forgive me for my lack of emotional maturity at times, Father. I know I have gotten better, but I still have quite a bit of work to do in discovering my true self and embracing the qualities You expect of me.
PROMISE (verse 2): There are three very amazing promises in this single, short verse. The first is the promise for eternal life from God. The second is the promise that God cannot ever tell a lie. The third is that these were made to us before time even began and are still valid to this day. I am grateful for my eternal life through my faith. I am also grateful that You will never lie to me like some around me do. I often need to just hear the flat-out truth and You promise us that You will always give that to us, so I am extremely grateful for this. I do not need coddling; rather I need growth and the only way to achieve true growth is with someone in my life who tells me how it is without any filtering of the truth to “make me feel better.” Thank You for all of this, Father. Thank You for also knowing that I needed these promises before time even began and showing me how these are so important for us that You established them long before I was born.
ATTITUDE (verses 8-9): There are many attitudes to live by through the Spirit in these two verses. The ones that are speaking loudest to me are loving what is good, being self-controlled, and holding to the faithful message as taught. I have struggled in my life with embracing an attitude of love as a whole. This is why I was determined to shift that mindset shortly after joining the Real Men 300. I started seeing even the smallest things around me that are good things instead of harping on the negativity. I started truly loving and embracing the good things far more than I ever have in an attempt to drive out all of the negativity that’s been pent up in my heart for so long. I could not have done this without You and the Godly men You have surrounded me with, so I am truly and eternally grateful to You for that, Father. I have also struggled with walking in a self-controlled manner in my life. When my emotions flare up, I find it rather difficult at times to truly be in control of myself, my acts, and my words in those moments. Thankfully, You have given me more maturity with my emotions recently now that I am ready for it than I have ever had in my life. Lastly, holding to the faithful message as taught. I have struggled quite often in my life since coming to faith with embracing Your word as my personal truth. I’ve struggled with allowing my head knowledge of Your word to transfer into my heart so I can embrace it in my daily walk. Help me to continue to keep this pathway between my head and heart wide open, Father, so that I truly do learn the meaning of “holding to the faithful message as taught” instead of trying to block some messages or twist some to my own personal will.
COMMAND (verses 12-14): I definitely feel a little sorry for Titus in a sense through these commands. He has been tasked with essentially performing some great things for Your kingdom in Crete. One of the things is to be aware that the statement from one of their own that they are liars, evil, and lazy gluttons is very true. He is commanded to rebuke them sharply so that they will be not only sound in their faith, but also so that they may not give attention to Jewish myths and commands of men who reject God’s truth. I have often had those around me who fall into the same category at the Cretans, yet I have rarely responded in a way as You have commanded Titus here. I either just laugh off the things they say/do or I may even just distance myself from them without ever saying a word to them about my concerns. This is not what You’ve commanded Titus to do, nor is this what I feel You are commanding me to do. The old saying of “love the person, hate the sin” applies heavily, yet I find myself forgetting the “love the person” part of this old statement quite often. Help me to be better at both righteous discernment so I can more easily identify these things in my life, but also help me to be more outspoken about my faith and Your truth, Father. Help me to remember and testify about Your truth to those around me, so that when I face trials such as those that Titus is facing in Crete I am able to endure and speak up for Your glory and Your kingdom through it all.
EXAMPLE (verses 5-9): Elders, overseers, and God’s administrators are so vital to Your kingdom’s growth and integrity that You outlined so many examples of what You expect of them. I am no where close to where I need to be in order to truly be a God-sanctioned elder, overseer, nor God’s administrator based on this. I am previously married, although neither of us were followers of Christ during that marriage. I am far from blameless as I have made MANY mistakes in the flesh throughout my life, even since coming to faith. I suffer from arrogance, being hot-tempered at times, failed to truly love what is good here-and-there, am far from being truly righteous, sometimes lack self-control. All of these together and more have caused me to lack in the last quality you mention here—to be able to both encourage with sound teaching and to refute those who contradict it. Have I gotten MUCH better at all of these as of late? Oh yeah, definitely. Am I where I feel You want me to be at this point in my faith, having been a follower of Christ for about 10 years, now? Unfortunately, no I am not. I have a lot of things that I need to lean on You more on for true identity restoration with regards to my new, born-again identity in Christ. Slowly but surely I am getting there, but I am not there yet. Thank You for this amazing example of Your elders, overseers, and administrators, Father. I hope and pray that one day I can at least say that I have met these expectations and qualities for the most-part.
*DAILY NOTE: A new day and a new chapter in Your amazing word to build on my relationship with You and understanding of You. I have read the book of Titus before, but I don’t feel like it has ever spoken to me in this way before. It’s a short book for sure, but if the last two chapters speak to me even remotely as loudly as the first has today, then I am extremely grateful for the spiritual growth and maturity I have embraced in my life thanks to my growing relationship with You now that I’m finally ready for it. I am grateful for all You are doing in me, Father, and I ask that You continue to bless me with Your love, joy, counsel, wisdom, teachings, and grace. I ask that You continue to show me that Your ways are always better than my own for both myself and those around me. Thank You for today’s quiet time in Titus, Father. I look forward to the amazing lessons that You have to teach me in the rest of Titus.
EXPAND TO READ: GENERAL NOTE FOR MY QUIET TIMES
Commentaires