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The Order of LOVE

I had a thought that I wanted to share that I've been saying for a couple of months to a few men in my Real Men 300 group, but also to my wife. I finally gave into the push I've been feeling, likely from the Holy Spirit, to go ahead and blog about it, so here I go.

First, let's read Mark 12:30-31 (HCSB) because this blog is about how I broke this set of verses down to my level of understanding:

30 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength."

31 "The second is: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other command greater than these."

These two verses essentially break down exactly how we are to structure our order of love, but I didn't quite understand it at first until I broke it down a little further.


First and foremost, we're to love God with all that we are.

Why are we stressing so much about getting all of the other commands right and living all the other examples correctly if we can't get what Jesus said is the most important command right?

If a teacher says something to the effect of "the most important thing for you to know is" fill in the blank, aren't you going to listen pretty intently at what your teacher is about to say as well as try your best to memorize it?

When Jesus tells us that loving God with all that we are is the most important command, then we need to make sure that is our first love; our most important love. None of our relationships in this life nor any of our experiences will be to the level that God wants them to be for us if we do not truly embrace this first and most important command.

We are supposed to be in relationship with God like a marriage, in a sense, since we are the brides of Jesus. For those that are married or even in a love-based relationship in general, think about this example.

What if your spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend told you that they do love you, but that you're really number like 3 or 4 in their love priority. Ahead of you is maybe your job, that fancy car you drive, other women/men.

Is that how we're to treat our relationship?

Are we truly putting God as our #1 love or are we putting so many other things above Him in that love priority for our lives?

If we can get this first one right, then everything else will be so much easier to accomplish because we are doing things in this life for our #1 true love. When you're doing something for someone that you truly and deeply love more than ANYTHING else in this life, then it's the easiest thing to do because you love that person so much.


Many will say number the number two most important command is "love your neighbor as yourself" and they'd be right if we were to take the entire sentence as a singular command. I took this a little deeper, however, due to many of my past struggles that I've been dealing with for many years. Some of those struggles are things like:

  • Talking bad about myself in my mind

  • Negative thought life about the mistakes I make

  • Shaming myself in my head

  • Thinking to myself things like:

    • I'm so stupid

    • Why can't I stop doing these stupid things?

    • I'm so weak

    • I'm such an idiot

    • I'm not worthy

    • Nobody loves me

If I'm saying all of those things to myself, am I loving myself?

Jesus tells us that the second most important thing we're to do is to love others as ourselves.

How can I love others properly if I can't even love myself properly?

If I'm doing number 1 fully by committing all that I am to a deep, loving relationship with God, then God is showing me my identity in Christ; God is showing me how He loves me. God would never say those things to me that I said to myself above. That's the enemy, the flesh, and the world whispering those deceptions and lies to us to keep us out of God's loving arms.

How can I even consider attempting to show true love to others, as Jesus tells us, if I do not know how to even love myself properly?

If I'm to love others as myself, but I don't truly love myself, then I'm not following the second command here, am I?

Think about it, if you don't truly love yourself the way God loves you, then the love you're showing to others is not of God. The love your showing to others is a broken and likely fake "love" that is encased with all of the deceptions and lies you're telling yourself. The second most important love relationship you need to establish is the love of yourself the way God loves you.


Going back to the second command, "Love your neighbor as yourself." If we're on number 3, now, then that means we're in a deep, intimate, and loving relationship with God first and foremost. Secondly, it means that we're now understanding, feeling, and living in the love God shows to us so that we can then pursue number 3 in the "Order of LOVE" which is loving others.

God loves us with ALL that He is and more than we could ever fathom. He loves us so much that even though He knew of 100% of every sin we would commit, He still sacrificed His one and only Son on the cross for our sins. If God loves us that much than anyone living in the flesh could even fathom loving us, then we should easily be able to convey His love to love for ourselves.

As His love pours into us and we begin to truly love ourselves as well, God's love will also begin to overflow and pour out of us to all those relationships we have on a daily basis, whether it be with our spouse, children, family, church family, community, neighbors, friends, strangers, etc.

Moral to the story is to have a deep, intimate, and full loving relationship with God first and foremost. Through that loving relationship, you will learn how to truly love yourself as God loves you. As you progress down that road, God's amazing fruits of the Spirit will begin to overflow to all things You come in contact with in this life.

** Love God first and allow that love to pour into you fully so that love will overflow to others **

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